"Ridding Yourself of FolksWho Suck Up Your Time and Energy"

by Bernice Ross, Ph.D., MCC and Byron Van Arsdale, MCCOwners, Teleclass4U.com, LLC and RealEstateCoach.com

Copyright © 2003RealEstateCoach.com and Teleclass4U.comAll rights in all media reserved.
Feeling "drained" by how much you have to do? If so, here's a simple approach to increasing your energy by ridding yourself of what we call "Energy Vampires."

Begin by making a list of at least 25 things that are "bugging you." It can be a person, a thing, or something that someone does. It makes no difference if it's something as small as a missing button on a shirt or as large as a major life challenge.

Next categorize the items on your list into one of three major categories:

Work, including colleagues, hours, environment, equipment, compensation, and management.
Other people: including our spouse, family, or friends.

Personal, including our appearance, home environment, car, self-criticism, and personal behaviors.

These "energy vampires" are the most expensive, yet one of the most easily fixable problems in life. Everything that happens to use either adds or detracts from our energy. The problem for most of us is that we are often so busy, we seldom take the time to evaluate what adds value to our lives versus what drains us of our time and resources. Unfortunately, what we leave "hanging around", drains us time and time again. For each "energy vampire" you zap, you create new time and energy to achieve your goals. Just eliminating the easiest one on your list often releases a surprising amount of energy.

To reduce the number of "energy vampires" in your life, try the following strategies:
Begin by dealing with "energy vampire" each day. Start with small simple items you can easily complete. For example, instead of trying to clean out the entire garage, plan on packing one box every Thursday for the next 4 weeks. (If you want to pack more, that's OK, but don't get worn down by the magnitude of the task. The goal is to make the task small enough that it is easy to complete in just a few minutes.)

Stop spending time with people who drain you of energy without ever giving anything back. To get them out of your life, establish clear-cut boundaries. For example, you may "set a boundary" not to allow anyone to yell at you. When someone does yell at you, ask the person to engage in the exact opposite behavior, i.e. instead of saying, "Will you stop yelling at me?" As them to "please speak softly to me since I can't hear what you're saying when you raise your voice." If the person continues to yell, inform them that you will leave if they will not speak softly to you. If they continue, leave, by hanging up the phone or walking away from the situation.

Another strategy to eliminate people who are "energy vampires" is to clearly tell them you have only 2 or 3 minutes to talk and then you have to leave. Their goal is to take your time and energy without giving anything back. When they can't get their need for attention through you, they will go elsewhere. Alternatively, when you see the energy vampire coming your way or if they call you on the phone, ask the "energy vampire" for a contribution to your favorite charity or to help you complete some unpleasant task like helping you clean your garage.

The best strategy to avoid "energy vampires" is to handle the task or issue the moment it occurs. When you pop a button, sew it back on. When someone starts to yell or to waste your time, walk away. "Energy vampires" are a lot like the trash—the more you let them build up, the more they stink and the harder they are to clean up!